What do you think of when you think of self care? Is it manis & pedis? Spa days? Girl trips with your BFFs? As a woman who is trying to do better with taking care of herself and putting her needs before others, I can tell you I have failed more times in this area than I have succeeded. And if you haven’t heard, failure is a better teacher than success on any given day.

Self care is such a hot topic these days, let’s talk about what self care is, and isn’t!

Think about this: regardless if you take a day to go to the spa or a full fledged vacay away, if you don’t deal with the stuff within, you’ll just be back to square one – except with smoother skin and nicer nails & a beach tan.

Self care is about caring for the total woman, from top to bottom! Time away to reflect, acknowledging & facing emotional hurts, doing the work to heal those emotional scars, setting boundaries to safe guard your mind and space – all of it!!! It’s about forgiveness. It’s letting go of the hurts and traumas that hold you back. Self care is about – sis, listen to me – creating a strong village of women who rally around you to love you, help you grow, encourage you & pour into you – and vice versa. Let’s face it: Jesus had 12 disciples and never traveled along and yet, somehow we feel as if we can do life on our own. 

Self care is (sometimes) sitting yourself down and just being! It’s not performing. It’s not about the output, it’s about resting. It’s about respecting your body and going to bed at night.

For me, self care has been tapping into those funky, nasty habits that I’ve picked up and working through the roots of all of it. It’s speaking up and out loud about them. It’s taking time alone with myself to get clear on what I want. It’s creating a sister circle of women who can hold me accountable. It’s respecting my body and resting at the end of the day. It’s creating a day of Sabbath for my family. It’s honoring my body with fitness. It’s not about being a mom, a wife, daughter or a friend – it’s about being a woman and knowing who she is. So many things! In all of this, it’s allowing me to tackle those negative thought patterns that have held me back. I am not a pro at any of this, but putting this into practice recently has allowed me to shift in ways I never thought was possible.

So sis, what does self care look like for you?

Next time you think about self care, think about what that means for you on a deeper level. It’s nice to pick a fruity nail color to match your outfit, but if you’re not getting to the root and the heart of you, you’re putting a fresh coat of paint on an old, rickety house.

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