There is nothing that has forever changed me, changed my perspective, and changed my priorities like becoming a mom. As my children gear up to turn 5 & 2 years old, I wanted to share some of the key things worth sharing.
Let’s face it: no one really knows what they’re doing all the time, 100% of the time.
While it is true that having more than one child you know what to “expect”, every pregnancy, child and experience is completely different. You learn to adapt, navigate and do a lot of trial and error in motherhood. Some aspects not so much trial and error are required as you would have initially, but you learn to go with it.
The verdict: no one has it all together so don’t even sweat it. You just go with the flow and figure it out along the way.
Let go of your expectations.
Chances are you had it in your mind of what kind of parent you would be, what kind of clothes you would only let you kids be seen in and you vowed to make all of their baby food. Then the kid arrived and threw that plan out the window.
For real: everyone is an amazing parent before they become one. We’ve all given that mom the side-eye at Target when little Johnny was acting a fool because he couldn’t have the candy. Then you become one and you completely understand Karen. Completely.
We have these stupid expectations of who or what we think motherhood is supposed to be or look like and truth is none of us could live up to the expectations we put on ourselves!
Stop looking for perfection. Just make memories.
If you’re the one looking for everything to be picture perfect for you to enjoy motherhood, you’re missing out. Before you know it, your baby is eating solids, crawling, running, talking (& talking back) and alllll the things! The time literally flies and while you’re trying to craft this picture perfect plan, just jump in, enjoy the best you can and make memories. Create experiences. Make every second of it count.
Stop waiting for permission to take care of yourself.
Read that again. You already know what I’m going to say:
-If you don’t take care of you, you can’t take care of anyone else
-Your self-care is important
Blah. Blah. Blah. Sis – real talk: stop it. Stop waiting for someone to tell you it’s REQUIRED for you to take care of yourself. Better yet: quit with the mom guilt about it. Let’s take that expectation and the Superwoman capes off and realize before you were a mom you were YOU first. You have to take care of her, nurture and help her to grow. Otherwise you WILL burn out. Just like you’re taking care of your little ones, you have to nurture and grow ALONG WITH THEM TOO.
For our little one, I use nap time to take advantage. Since my oldest doesn’t nap, guess what? She still has to do “quiet time”. We have certain things she can do within that allotted time, but she MUST have her own time to have some space and to just be.
My kids are like little Velcro attachments on me at all times. If I can do it, I promise you can. You NEED it.