I truly believe I was meant to mother girls and I wouldn’t have it any other way. One thing I have learned on this journey is this: parenting has a funny way of bringing back memories, experiences & fears to the surface and if you aren’t careful, you will parent your children with that same mindset. This journey has truly forced me to look at myself as a person, who I am, how I communicate, and how I show up in the world so I can be a better parent for my girls.
Today I’m sharing 5 Values that I’m teaching my girls in hopes that these are the things they hold tight to as they grow up.
1. It’s important as you age to learn independence along the way, but always dependent on Christ.
It’s not my job to keep them little forever. I’m teaching them valuable life skills and want them to thrive as women in the world. However, it’s 100% important to know that independence over here doesn’t also equal independence from God.
2. Having good hygiene is so important.
Laugh if you will, but I learned early on that this is not taught in all homes. Making sure my girls do the small things well, like brushing their teeth and keeping clean habits are important in having good health and being loving to yourself.
3. Self Care is not selfish.
I’m navigating through this one. I took a step back and realized that this idea of being selfish when it comes to taking care of yourself stems back generations. If you were the last to do everything, get everything all in the name of “sacrificing for your family”, then you would be revered and that’s important. In all actuality, it isn’t. What that communicates is treat me this way and no one worry about me over here. Yet, you get mad when no one thinks of you or better yet “I made all these sacrifices for you – you don’t appreciate it!”…but no one asked you to make those sacrifices, sis. I don’t want my daughters feeling like they have to sacrifice themselves and be last to be something. Take care of yourself first!
4. Acknowledge your feelings. Even the negative ones.
Yep. I’m that parent. We want our children to always be happy, but there are times they don’t. They feel sad, angry, irritated, etc. In my house, we acknowledge those feelings. Feel how you feel so you can get past it. There’s nothing worse than to be told to get over your feelings, only to harbor feelings of anger, hurt and resentment years later. If you feel the feeling, sit in it, acknowledge that it’s there, you will have an easier time navigating out of it over time. It’s a skill and a muscle that has to be exercised over time.
My goal is to have children who can adequately express their true emotions without going through life in an extreme case of being passive aggressive (like I was) or just over the top because they are “stuck” with feelings they can’t get through.
5. Being your true authentic self is the best person you can be.
Of course there are 7,455 values I can add to the list, but my final one is simple: be yourself. Be who God made you to be. You don’t have to conform to anything because someone wants you to be that – including me! I will walk with you and guide you as you navigate discovering who you are and step back enough to let you navigate that on your own. Be the true & beautiful soul God made you to be!