Ahh social distancing. It’s amazing how these two words have honestly changed our lives in such a profound way. From the way we interact and how we function as a society to how we do life daily in our homes. Truth be told: it’s like living on mini islands, but it’s far from a vacay and everyone’s ready to get back to some normalcy.
As an entrepreneur, this has shifted the way I work tremendously! What used to be a good 8-9 hour day to get my work done, now consists of juggling trying to keep two very active kids who wants all of my attention at every waking hour of the day, occupied, busy, learning, eating and alive. And with the way I work, I cannot have any distractions whatsoever. A simple interruption and I lose my train of thought. I found the rhythm in which I work the best and all that has been trashed. Let’s be real: I’m writing this blog post in a dark closet of my child’s bedroom at 9pm at night – just so I can focus.
So what have I been doing with this new normal to stay grounded & sane? Buckle up. This is going to be pretty raw and honest. If you know me, you know my heart is genuine and pure and I love sharing what works for me & my family. And I say it with love.
I still have a schedule
Yes. OMG CLUTCH THE PEARLS! I actually still have a (loose) schedule during this time. I have myself, a husband, children, a home and businesses to still run. This was never supposed to be looked at as some type of vacation.
Am I suggesting you do the same? Absolutely not. I happened to actually listen to those stupid “you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to memes” for a week and I about lost it. My house was a mess. I was irritated. Kids were whining and hungry more than normal. My husband was in meetings all day so I didn’t have help. I still had to work and play and blow bubbles and color with chalk because my kids aren’t old enough to entertain themselves, so there’s that. When I sat back and re-evaluated that week, I realized that not having something in place was the key. My house NEEDS a loose schedule of structure so we know what’s happening and we have something to look forward to. While things are definitely more lax (bedtimes, wake up times, etc.) we find having a schedule helps my husband and I plan our days out so he can take the girls and I can work uninterrupted, and vice versa.
I brush my teeth, wash my face and get dressed everyday. No shame.
Bout to rub some people the wrong way, so let’s do this. For me (I said FOR ME), pajamas are for sleeping. It tells my brain it’s time to relax, unwind and chill. Even when I was working from home at my corporate job AND as an entrepreneur who works wherever and mostly at home, I still get dressed. Yes. I wear my jeans to the living room and kitchen. Somedays it might be a cute loungewear outfit I found online. You can find my fave places to get that here, here, & here.
Why? I always want to feel my best, regardless if I’m out with friends or I’m home. Because I am blessed enough to still be able to work during this time, this is not the time for me to put the things I do every single day aside. I’m not talking wearing sequins and feathers. I’m talking toss on a simple jogger/top combo. I promise a bodysuit and lounge pants or easy jeans makes you look like you tried when you didn’t! Smooth the edges of the top knot, if that’s all you can do with your hair. Put on some lip balm! Whatever I can do to make myself feel my best, I can show up as my best. Even without makeup!
I still work out.
Working out what in my schedule before and thanks to Zoom, I’m still able to do that even though it’s not my fave. Again, I’m not on vacation and my body surely isn’t where I want it to be yet. You can find 7 minute work outs any and everywhere right now. As long as you get your body moving, outside or whatever, it’s a win. Working out is MY “me time” and a part of my normal schedule before all of this sooooo not changing it now. Sorry kids.
I’m checking in with myself to see what I need and I give myself that. And I give myself grace.
Every single hour of the day is different. I can’t think about next week because I’m in this spot and I need to make a decision before I can make another. Some days I am ready to rock and roll and other days I’m peeling it back, drinking more tea, taking more breaks and going with whatever my home needs in the moment. Some days my girls are good to play on their own. Some days they need my undivided attention. My therapist said it best: we are all trying to figure this out as we go. You won’t have it down pat right away. Give yourself some grace while you do.
While many of us are honestly doing the best we can – we are. Homeschooling and still expected to deliver is maddening. However, I’m also seeing a culture that’s glorifying wearing the same sweatpants for 2 weeks straight and don’t know what day it is. I get it. We’ve told women that it’s absolutely selfish to think of themselves first.
Listen. I have 2 little ones on me all hours of the day. Many of you have way more than that. They need attention! But if I can be honest, I am only one person and I cannot give all of my entire being and energy into keeping my kids occupied all day. I just cannot. I have stopped expecting myself to be this “Pinterest-worthy” mom.
And this is coming from someone who doesn’t have family nearby to just help or drop them off to on a regular day. My husband and I are doing our best by ourselves on a regular day.
But while I’m giving myself grace and checking in, this isn’t a time to make excuses. I heard this quote: “You have what you have because that’s what you believe you deserve.” And while this is uncomfortable and nerve wrecking, I am still a human who doesn’t need to put herself on the back burner! If anything, I need to be taking care of myself more so I can pour into my home.
All of it, to be honest, sucks. We had to cancel birthday parties, outings, travel, our 9th wedding anniversary trip away (which now makes year THREE that we haven’t done anything to celebrate it), and no more school for Laila. Of course the list goes on.
But let me keep it 100% funky with you: this is our new normal, for now. And the more we keep resisting it and wishing what was instead of just embracing what is, it’s going to continue to seem like the inconvenience of a lifetime.
Right now this is redirection. This is an opportunity for all of us to (you fill in your own blank). This isn’t no, it’s just not now. The bigger blessing is on the other side of this.
As I said in this post, I’m choosing to thrive and not simply survive because that’s what I deserve.